?? 2007? 4? 17? 03? 01?
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We would like to know, in no more than 500 words, what experiences have led you to select your professional field and objective.
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<1>Well , <2>i had so many dreams when i was younger - like a balleina , nurse , doctor and so on. Then <3>it was stopped when <4>i was just third grade of my primary school. <5>It was term of writing a essay about my dreams. When <6>i <7>think about what i want to be on my dest at home, i saw so many books on my room wall. That was <8>all about 'law'. and i was curious, why that kind of books were in my house ? i couldn't understand, <9>there is none of pepole who <10>are work or study for a judge or a public prosecutor or even lawyer in my family!
I asked <11>to my father. He told me that <12>are his books. He said he wanted to work in law <13>part. and that is why my room was filled with law books. when he was young <14>his home was not enough for serve him to go to university. He had to change his dream . It was my <15>fathers first <16>broke up with dreams. But the second chance came to him when <17>he'v <18>got married to my mom. After <19>talk with my mom, he quit his work and <20>study again <21>for make his dream come true. But it wasn't easy, <22>home economic was so hard and big deal to just my mom at that time. Mom spent so hard time. Then, when my younger brother was born <23>he had to quit his dream again for us - our home economic. Because there was no longer anything to do except <24>that way.
When my father told me that story he seemed so depressed and lonely and <25>everything about bad feelings. At that time, i knew what i have <26>to and what i want to. Judge! <27>I decide to be a judge for my father, but that wasn't just reason makes me select my way. i always wanted to be the this century King Solomon who was the wisest king and judge in the history. On the desire of getting the wisedom of Solomon and my father story make me choose my way.
And now a day, when i watch the cruel story of crime, dirt story about white crime in political world and innocent people who have no reason but go to jail by wrong police i think about my dreams again and again and make my mind correctly to become the real and justify judge. and this is why i study hard. i won't fail, for my parents and for myself and for the society!
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I had so many dreams when I was younger-such as becoming a ballerina, nurse, or doctor. These dreams changed when I was in the third grade of primary school. I had to write an essay about my dreams. When I thought about what I wanted to be as I sat at my desk at home, I saw many books on the shelves in my room about law. I was curious. Why were there those kinds of books in my house? I couldn't understand this because no one in my family has even studied law.
I asked my father. He told me those were his books. He said he had wanted to work in law, and that was why my room was filled with law books. When he was young, his family did not have the means to send him to university. He had to change his dream. This was my father’s broken dream. But he got a second chance when he got married to my mom. After talking with her, he quit his job and again studied in order to make his dream come true. But it wasn't easy and the family finances were difficult even for just the two of them. Mom also had a hard time. Then, when my younger brother was born, my father had to set aside his dream again for our family due to our financial circumstances. There was no way around it.
When my father told me that story, he seemed so depressed and lonely, and shared a lot of negative feelings. At that moment, I knew what I wanted to do-be a judge! I decided to be a judge because of my father, but that wasn't the only reason why I made that decision. I have always wanted to be this century’s King Solomon, the wisest king and judge in the history. Both my desire to gain the wisdom of Solomon and my father’s story made me choose my path. And now today, when I watch the cruel crime stories, or stories about white crime in the political world, and see innocent people go to jail because of corrupt police, I think about my dreams again and again and make my mind up once again to become a real and just judge. This is why I study hard. I won't fail my parents, myself or society!
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3 | ??? ???? ??????. |
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6 | 'I'? ?? ???? ???? ?? ?????. |
7 | ??? ??? ?? : ????? ????. |
8 | ??·?? ??? ?? : ‘a(chǎn)ll the books were about law’ ? ???? |
9 | ??? ?? : 'no one' ?? 'nobody' ? ??? ?? ?????. |
10 | ??? ???? ?? : ??? ??? ‘works'? ????. |
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13 | ‘part’ ??? ???? ????. |
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16 | ?? ??? ?? : ‘disappointment’? ‘disillusion’? ?? ??? ??? ?? ?????. |
17 | ?????? ???? ?? ?? ?? ?????. |
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I hardly know where to begin to comment on your essay. As you can see from my edits, I practically had to rewrite all of it. Nonetheless, I tried to stay true to your original essay so that you can appreciate just what you did wrong. From the very beginning, when you wrote "Well …," the mistakes occur one after another in your essay. (Never begin a written essay with an expression that is proper only in informal speech.) To name a few, your essay has errors in capitalization, noun-verb agreement, use of pronouns, etc. In addition, for many of your sentences I had to infer the meaning to be able to rewrite it. I suggest you review you grammar rules thoroughly, and take some time to reflect carefully on just how to express yourself before writing.
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